An eclectic collection that made us pause for thought.
What does the Canadian girl say when you ask her if she’d like sex?
“Only if you’re having some yourself.”
Definition of a Jury:
“12 persons summoned at random to decide which party has the better lawyer.”
Some say we need a miracle to save the Eurozone and the banks. We need a far bigger one to save the planet.
Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.
Work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance to succeed.
Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains.
Marriage isn’t a thing to be romantic about – it lasts too long.
He roamed while his fiddle burned.
You can always tell a Yorkshireman – but you can’t tell him much!
When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going he replied “off course.”
Die, my dear doctor? That is the last thing I shall do.
A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.
Points of order on points of order that are not points of order are not points of order.
Softly attractive, wearing the kind of smile that kicks the Manhattan winter into the Hudson.
The world is run by monsters and you have to deal with them. Some of them run countries, some of them run banks and some of them run news corporations.
A Spaniard will live for eight days on a German’s dinner.
She was fine when she left here.
A pleasure shared is a pleasure halved!
To win an election you need addition and multiplication, to lose you need subtraction and division.
Those who can do. Those who can do more volunteer.
I would rather cry in the back of a BMW than laugh on the back of a bicycle.
There is no such thing as waste: only stuff in the wrong place.
You get more horrified by politicians as you get older, it’s a constant series of disappointments and let-downs.
I don’t believe in heroes or saviours but I do believe in fighting for rights…no-one has the right to reduce a proud people to such a state of wretchedness and indignity.
A dripping June keeps everything in tune.
The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall.
The English nation thinks it is free, but it is greatly mistaken, for it is only during the election of members of parliament; as soon as they are elected it is enslaved and counts for nothing.
The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.
Confidence is the prize given to the mediocre.
Good girls go to Heaven. Bad girls go everywhere.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
We live at a time “when democracy has become the catspaw of plutocrats”
Profit without purpose is a recipe for disaster…. the absence of purpose – or of a moral language – within government, media or business, could become one of the most dangerous own goals for capitalism and for freedom.
When I started gardening I knew everything there was to know about very little; as I grew older I found I knew less and less about more and more, and now I know nothing about everything.
80 percent of success is showing up.
I’ve been influenced by everyone, the past is the compost in which we grow.
Q:How long should a man’s legs be?
A:Long enough to touch the ground.
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God’s mind – a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you’ve just made a downpayment on a house.
Technology companies begin to die when salespeople and bean counters start making the decisions.
Dialogue is the strategy of the brave.
Sushi must have been created by two Jews thinking, ‘How can we open a restaurant without a kitchen?’
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.
Madness is a relative state. Who can say which of us is truly insane?
In victory, you deserve champagne, in defeat you need it.
The enduring metaphor of regulatory policy is the noise of stable doors being firmly shut behind the horse.
When the white missionaries came to Africa, they had the Bible and we had the land.
They said, ‘Let us pray.’ We closed our eyes. When we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land.
Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.
Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror.
Passengers are reminded that they are here to wait for the train. The train is not here to wait for them.