An eclectic collection that made us pause for thought.
I have a slight feeling that politicians are all bastards in the end. To be successful in politics you have to be a compromiser and you have to lie.
It’s just 99% of lawyers who give the rest a bad name.
It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
In terms of progress, history has confirmed that the future can be a lot worse than the present.
She is the most balanced person I know – she has a chip on both shoulders.
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
Take a bottle of Napoleon Brandy, pour into a silver salver, swill and throw away.
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
Definition of a helicopter:
“Magimicks belong Yesus”
Asked why banks traditionally have large and impressive head offices, a partner in a top acocunting firm explained:
“They need to disguise the fact that banking is no more than an accounting exercise!”
Why did God create economists?
In order to make weather forecasters look good.
Debt is like a crazy aunt we keep down in the basement. All the neighbours know she’s there, but nobody wants to talk about her.
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it’s because I’m not a bitch. Maybe that’s why Miss Crawford always plays ladies.
There is no exception to the rule that every organic being naturally increases at so high a rate, that if not destroyed, the earth would soon be covered by the progeny of a single pair. Even slow-breeeding man has doubled in 25 years, and at this rate, in a few thousand years, there would literally not be standing room for his progeny.
My month without alcohol went so well that I finished early.
The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of one’s trousers to the seat of one’s chair.
The way to make a small fortune in publishing is to start with a large one.
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
War is God’s way of teaching the Americans geography.
Mr Walsh [BA’s Chief Executive] is not available for interview this morning…
Opportunity only gives you knockers once.
In uncertain times like this, all you can do is look for the cloud at the end of the tunnel.
We want to give flyers an experience they will remember.
Better perfect than not at all!
A Chinese judge told the defendant that if he wanted a fair trial he would have to pay the judge 10,000 Yuan. When the defendant asked why, the Judge replied:
“Because that is what the claimant has paid me!”
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
No longer young, knowing life is a brief flash of light, the poet finds in the gaze and the lips of the beloved everything he needs to keep going.
If you want to grow your business, remember that 1 plus 1 is 11, not 2.
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set.
I’m in sales, not management!
Success has many parents but failure is an orphan.
We will become independent of nature.
As her 4×4 was brought to her at a valet car park, the driver was overheard to remark:
“I don’t know what all the fuss is about – if it’s so bad for the environment, why does it have climate control?”
It is amazing what you can achieve when you don’t care who gets the credit.
“Besides, its very simple: if I didn’t have servants I couldn’t knit any more for the poor” said that excellent lady at that excellent luncheon.
When told by his host that it was a great honour to have accepted his invitation to lunch on his 90th birthday, Sir John Gielgud replied: “Oh, I’m delighted to have been asked. All my real friends are dead, you know.”
Definition of an economist:
“An economist is a fellow who knows 101 ways of making love and doesn’t have a girl.”
A good book is a guilty pleasure to be enjoyed in secret.
There are three sides to every argument: my side, your side and the truth.
I want America to know that I’m, like, ready to lead.
I like working on holiday because it makes me feel important.
Extremely ugly blocks..arranged with most unpicturesque taste.
The gestation period for an elephant is about the same as a Financial Services Authority consultation.
Where the wind of the argument goes, there we must follow.
Better a genius without faith than a believer without talent.
If you get arrogant, you lose your way and start making mistakes.
As profits grow incrementally, do losses accumulate excrementally?
For more than two centuries, the US and Europe have exercised an effortless economic, political and cultural hegemony. That era is coming to an end.
A Churchillian comment on the financial crisis:
“Never has so much been owed by so few to so many!”